This blog explores the transformative power of embracing the truth and the liberation it brings to our lives through an Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens. A quick IFS refresher: In IFS, there are exiles, protectors, and Self. Exiles are the wounded and vulnerable parts of us that carry emotional pain, trauma, or unresolved experiences. The protector parts take on a protective role to prevent the exiles from being triggered. And Self is our truest essence and inner wisdom. Self is fundamentally whole, compassionate, and wise.
And now onto our blog…
A thick blanket of dark clouds covers the valley and I’m sneaking in a quick hike out on the trail before it rains. As I settle into the rhythm of the hike, I start reflecting on this thing that’s been bothering me. And here is that thing: recently, a well-meaning mentor gave me some feedback that felt quite uncomfortable. In fact, this feedback downright hurt. Just thinking about it, I feel combative. Some parts of me say, “it’s not true, and that Mentor is off base.” One part of me is annoyed and another part wants me to go hide.
Walking along, I begin to understand that these parts are my Protector Parts. I listen to each of these parts, and as each protector part feels fully seen, heard, and understood, they begin to relax. And when they are relaxed, I notice the hurt part of me. Hurt Part feels misunderstood. Slowly I start to feel compassion for Hurt Part and convey my compassion to her. I comfort her and really listen. Soon Hurt Part begins to calm down, too.
And as my parts relax, my mood lightens. I take in the surroundings: the clouds, the trees, a scurrying bunny. As I begin the descent and turn towards home, I begin to recognize that… there may be some truth in what Mentor said.
I wrestle around with this “truth” a bit. Is it true? I ask myself. I begin to see that Mentor has a point. Though this truth stings a bit, I can see it from the vantage point of Self. Self can handle it. Hurt Part and Protectors could not admit the truth, but Self can see the truth.
I take in the truth and recognize that I can use this new truth as a catalyst for growth as truth will enable me to break free from an old pattern.
Near home, it begins to rain. I enter the front door and I settle into the truth and now recognize that accepting truth, even when it stings, is liberating.
