Scene 4 – Scene 4, Back Home (Continuation of previous blog, Camp Utopia, Scene 3 – In Quest of Solitude)

The camp dust has settled, and I consider our recent excursion on the Uncompahgre, a sort of post-mortem, if you will. I try to assimilate all of the related events beginning with our run-in with Backpacker at the local recreational merchandiser (see blog, Camp Utopia, Scene 1), the message from the cosmos (see blog, Camp Utopia, Scene 2 – Go with the Flow), the 4^th-of-July Campers (see blog, Camp Utopia, Scene 3 – In Quest for Solitude), to picking up the mail, today, where I find a request for donations from a non-governmental organization (NGO) whose mission is to preserve the wilderness and reduce human impact on the environment. The literature includes a bookmark quoting American Naturalist, John Burroughs: I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. These words feel like salt on an open wound when I remember the interference in our recent quest for solitude. As I recycle the envelope and its contents, I weigh out the NGO’s commitment to reducing human impact on the environment, but I appropriate the bookmark and set it on my kitchen counter.

I walk by the bookmark several times throughout the morning and each time, it nags me. Finally, I pick it up and read the message again:

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.

Yes, already, I do go to nature to be soothed and I note that I still feel a bit grouchy, remembering 4^th-of-July Campers(*#%@%) as obstacles to my being soothed. I glare at the bookmark for a few more moments. Then, the words, healed and have my senses put in order, grab my attention. Hmm, healing, senses put in order…

Backpacker comes to mind and I picture him running into 4^th-of-July Campers or other obstacles interfering with his solitude. I imagine him frustrated. I note that I no longer sense the chasm between us, and I try to weigh out why. Maybe he became a backpacker to be more in control of meeting his objectives. I admire that thought and I picture (the act of) backpacking to be more in control of meeting our objectives. The next thing you know, I’m feeling akin with Backpacker.The dichotomous key pops in my head and I remember all that unifies Backpacker and me. We are in the same tribe! My conscience is pricked a bit when I think about judging him so readily that day at the recreational merchandiser, when we were inquiring about camp sleeping pads.

I check back in on my animosity towards 4^th-of-July Campers. I wonder, What were their camp goals? Peace, solitude? Likely not. On the surface, they may have just been thinking Let’s camp and party! I try to imagine what intentions lie underneath that – what are they really looking for? The obvious comes to mind – they really want connection. It’s tribal. I begin sensing 4^th-of-July Campers in a new light; they weren’t out to purposefully mess with my solitude – they were looking for validation – that they belong to a tribe. Their human-ness begins to emerge, my heart grows softer, and a bigger picture begins to materialize. We want to feel connected, we want to belong, we want to be part of a tribe. In that quest, sometimes, we have good judgment and sometimes we have poor judgment. But we are simply people on this planet trying to figure out this Mystery that we are all participating in. Even those of us who yearn for solitude desire that tribal connection. I come to the conclusion what the true meaning of #%@% is:

A #%@% is a person on this planet in search of tribal connection.

My senses are put in order – at least for the time being.