Does caretaking come naturally to you? On an impulse, do you find yourself rescuing others? Do you tend to be overly responsible and conflict avoidant? If so, there is a good chance that you suffer from Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), otherwise known as Codependency. As individuals with C-PTSD, we are excellent workers – the sort that employers seek after. We are stable, hard-working, and meet deadlines before they are due. And in personal relationships, we are all about the other person’s needs and how they feel. We are wonderful listeners. But we pay a big price.

Those of us with C-PTSD often find ourselves in one-sided relationships, where we give endlessly to others and yet, we may not know how to receive. We tend to be approval seekers, people-pleasers, and perfectionists. We are compliant and often, labeled as the peacemaker. We generally lack any sort of self-identity, not knowing who we are or what we might need. We might feel isolated and most likely we have low self-esteem. We may not really know who we are or what we want. Our lives have been about everyone else. We continually seek approval and validation from others. When we don’t get that approval or validation, our world may fall apart. We may have an Inner Critic, whose ongoing dialog, jabs us with a litany of negative self-statements such as, I’m not good enough, I’m a bad person, I’m unlovable, etc.