13. Our Narrative

Walking the predawn trail, an unexpected movement caught my eye. A dark creature walked alongside me. Perplexed, I looked again. Holy moly, a skunk! What happened next, I suppose is content for a future blog. The skunk, though, is proof that each new trail story unfolds in its unique way. Even hiking the same trail, day after day, each trek is distinctive: a magnificent sunrise emerges or a magnetic sunset draws the whole world into itself, a particular tree stands out and requests a salute. On occasion, though not often enough, mountain bluebirds refine the landscape. Cloud patterns evoke a sense of mystery. Often, the Colorado blue sky deserves a standing ovation.

Just like the days on the trail, each day in our lives is unique. Days shape and mold us. Some days stand out above others, and we rehearse them over and over. Other days ultimately define who we are or who we become. Certain days may hold us captive. Forever. As we interpret our days, we write our own narrative. Our narrative becomes what we tell the world and what we seek from the world. The narrative that we’ve interpreted has the ability to either hold us hostage or set us free – it’s in the interpretation.

I recently heard someone say that he tells his children: “Don’t ask, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ but rather ask, ‘Why did this happen for me?’” I have been thinking about this since I first heard it. Of course, there are life events that may be so disturbing or tragic, that this question may not be appropriate or helpful. Where and when this question is appropriate, it offers the chance to make meaning of our lives.

 

Thinking back on difficult periods or events of my life and posing the question, Why did this or that happen to me? I remain a helpless victim and in darkness. The answers may leave me endlessly sad or bitter. It feels like a dead end and I’m not sure it will lead to any truth, nor does it any allow room for interpretation. Whereas, the question, Why did this happen for me? offers an opportunity to make meaning of the difficulties. Asking the question in this way, is freeing and it provides infinite possibilities. We can access truth through the question posed this way and it may lead to the possibility of joy; it provides the opportunity to become the owners and authors of our lives. It’s enriching and empowering, and leaves room for the freedom to interpret this mystery we call life.

So, about the skunk… stay tuned…

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Lisa

Based in Grand Junction, Colorado, as a trauma therapist, Lisa Lesperance Kautsky, MA, LPC, provides individual therapy to adults working through anxiety, panic, trauma, and codependency issues in the state of Colorado. Lisa is certified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing or EMDR and is currently working towards certification in Internal Family Systems (IFS). Additionally, Lisa is an advocate of Nature Therapy and creates Red Bike Blog promoting mental health wellness as shown through nature's wisdom.